Reality check.

I am so grateful these past days. A little confused too. Yesterday was my first day waking up without a job. So weird. It's the one thing you always pend on. The one thing you HAVE to have. What amazed me is that I missed going to the office somehow. And very soon I felt grateful again because I did have a job that made me happy (most of the time) But what amazed me most about this decision is that my job, money, things, clothes, are starting to drop in my top 10 of most important things to have. Ofcourse you need a job, but you only need one because you need a place to live, you need to eat, dress yourselve, you need medical care, and most people have a family to support.

So we tend to look for a job that makes us happy. Because we want to be happy too.

Unfortunately we often settle for jobs that pays bills instead of one that makes us happy. And I'll be honest, if you have both you are a very lucky human being.

Some of us fail in education, or fail to pay for the education we need to get the job we want. To those people i´d like to say, try again! Or to try save more. Prioritize.

Others fail to get their dream job because they think in little boxes, just do what society asks you. Get a diploma, grow in debt, pay off your debt with the job that pays the most, buy a house, a car, have kids and that's how your debts will keep growing. You need to keep working all week, and sometimes even your partner too, just to support all of you and maybe go out once in a while. Nevertheless, you´ll always be worried. Maybe you'll be satisfied, but you are not happy.

Well.. I was worried, and really unsatisfied, and I don´t even have kids. I don´t even have debts. I am a single woman, living by myself, and been supporting myself ever since I left school and that's not easy too. I could never buy a house on my own. (because of my long term relationship with Mr. Rent. ) And still I managed to make it work on my own. But I often realized I wasn't happy doing it.

Moving from job to job I asked myself frequently, is this it? Is this everything I can achieve in this life? Is this all life has to offer? Be successful in a good (paid) job, a better (paid) job, the best (paid) job? Maybe eventually meet someone and fall in love, buy a home, well, I just exaplained society's way.

For me the answer is No. I want to be happy, free, I don't want to worry about money, or other things that are just not worth worrying about. I want to live. I want to be.

It took a lot of courage to give up my appartment, quit my job, leave my childhood home and country but then again I'd rather be afraid instead of filled with regret. But to tell you the truth, I wasn't really afraid to give up on everything I had built. It's just an appartment and not even mine.. It's just a job and I don't even have a permanent contract. And yes, it's easy for me to say because I don't have kids. thats absolutely true. But nothing could hold me back.

Waking up with this new purpose is the best thing ever happened to me.